People in the past have told me that they feel more connected while being out and about. They enjoyed going to coffee shops, or walking around town. They felt a part of the human race. That's something I have never understood. Whenever I am a face in a crowd, I feel more alone than sitting here in my little place and writing to nobody.
Maybe those crowd-connectors can relate more easily with others. A simple gesture exchange and they feel like they passed some type of social quanta between them. Hm. Sounds like data packet passing, or electron exchange. Humans: The macro-atoms. That would mean that these people can more easily pass along social data, and enjoy the process. These people are more conductive than me. Maybe that's my problem. I'm not conductive enough!
I could sheath myself in some type of fake conductive layer. A social Faraday cage, if you will. The social interactive quanta would flow around me without my help. Nobody would know the difference. Emulation of normal social interaction may suffice. Or possibly some type of medication can accomplish that task. Many possibilities.
But, all of this would do nothing to change me. I would be the same old me, just hidden under yet another layer of fakery. The thought makes me cringe. No. I don't think I will do any of this.
I will just be my same old insulating self; I am stuck being the most alone when surrounded by others.
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