Casualties of "The Pursuit"

Depression is seen as something to be annihilated. Society teaches us that if we are not happy, then something is terribly wrong. I believe, though, that happiness is not a likely state. In fact, it is an unstable equilibrium. Imagine happiness is being on top of a very tall, very steep mountain. A wrong step and you go tumbling down. Depression, on the other hand is the bottom of a deep valley. It is hard to climb out, but the equilibrium is rock steady.

There is no denying that depression can be a very bad thing. It is painful, lonely, and can be highly physically dangerous. I do wonder, though, if depressions more dangerous side effects are amplified by societies need for happiness. I have long called the need for happiness "The Pursuit" (if it is not obvious this is from the quote "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" in the US Declaration). Not only do depressed people have to deal with the madness that haunts them, but they are forced to feel more like an outsider. Society does not want them. Depression is like being emotionally homeless. People just pass you by.

Another funny trait about being depressed: most of us feel utterly alone in our depression. We feel like nobody else can understand. Obviously this is a ludicrous assumption. Still it remains firmly embedded. My family consists of 4 people. Of those 4 at least 3 of us have depression. Yet, none of us talk about it. We prefer to burn individually. For me, I justify the individuality by saying I am protecting them. They do not need any more burden, and I prefer to keep it from them. Maybe that is how most depressed people feel.

I suppose the whole point of this post is simply to ponder the nature of The Pursuit and its effects on depressed individuals. I have first hand experience in this situation, so the topic interests me. All around me I see people around my age desperately seeking happiness in any of its forms. To me, it seems like an extreme waste of energy. So much time is wasted drinking, playing, and chasing an ephemeral idea that will inevitably flee from your grasp.

The casualties of The Pursuit are two fold: people like me, and the ones still in the race. Nobody wins.